Always Shine

 
Deconstructed negativity today by reminding myself of all the Positives || Today, I woke up sad. And instead of feeling unsure and defeated all day, I channeled that energy into something new. After two yoga classes and some improv dancing, I began to piece together this painting. Always do the things you love, especially on the days that you feel like doing them the least. If you wake up sad, remind yourself all day of the joys you are surrounded by. Always go to bed happy. 💜💙💛💚

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Always Shine

What Ifs : The Minds Garbage

I have let anxiety run my life. Not intentionally or drastically, but slowly and surely it has ate away at me. I would try to compartmentalize my anxiety. Only to have realized I was nurturing it. 

Everyday {all day} I am constantly running through the what ifs of life in my head.  Everywhere I go, I am fighting my thoughts.  Feeling an impending doom, just waiting for things in my life to fall apart. Fearing the pain of the past to be dredged up, fear of the future and all of the unknown. My mind will begin to not just overthink but obsess over my emotional and physical demise. The demise of my  future career. I think my mind is just trying to keep me safe and smart. But in reality all this thinking is hurting me, to the point where the anxiety becomes paralyzing. 

I have been on a journey of self love and acceptance. Using my art as a tool to educate myself on who I am. Utilizing  the act of creation and expression- To analyze, destroy, and rebuild in a process I have been calling “Deconstruct to Reconstruct”. 

  
I sat down and I wrote down every “what if” I had and every feeling I felt about each one. I got it all out of me and then I tore it to shreds. 

  
It was as if a weight had lifted from my heart. 

Anxiety is an energy and even though I released that energy- it still exists somewhere in the universe. So I took the pieces and put it back together and made it art. Transforming the negativity into Positivity. 

    

The “what ifs” can destroy the “what is”. I am learning to let go and just be, instead of worrying about things that will probably never happen anyway. LET THAT SHIT GO. Because that’s all it is, the minds garbage.

  

  
Stay positive my friends, spread love, but most importantly find it within yourself to love you and to find happiness in the now. It is where you find yourself. It is then you will realize that you ARE LOVE. 

[ Check out my Instagram for some timelapse footage of the process : devin_annimal ]

What Ifs : The Minds Garbage

Appreciating the Essence 

I read once that when we love the way a flower looks,we cut them to keep them, to hold onto them – killing the flower and what we loved about it in the first place. Leave your love rooted, so that it can live long and fully. Love someone in a way that doesn’t inhibit growth. Love is not possession. It’s about letting each other grow{because isn’t it so beautiful to witness?}, appreciating and respecting their truth.. embracing the act of being with someone you are connected with. There are no guidelines. It is purest in its own essence, and when we don’t let our thoughts and expectations.. Our pride.. get in the way… It’s effortless. We too often fall in love without trusting the love itself. Trust it to be beautiful and endless regardless of the circumstances of life. Let Go. Trust. Be. 

Appreciating the Essence 

“Let the Beauty we L0ve B what we d0 “

I don’t think the feeling of being lost, ever truly escapes anyone with age. I think, no matter what age, gender, or artistic inclinations {if any} that one may have.. there is still this sense of not knowing a damn thing. I search for happiness within myself, a girl who never knows which way is up.

We are nothing but a collection of moments. This is a place for me to document mine. Not just the external,but the internal, where my thoughts reside.

Maybe this way I can make a map, and figure out the way, to find exactly where I belong.

“Let the Beauty we L0ve B what we d0 “